What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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