so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
