Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
