She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.