I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time