Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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