Whod you bang
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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