just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
