I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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