This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize