hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
