well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
