Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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