everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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