She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
