Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize