I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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