Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
