What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
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There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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