I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.