Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
from now on my penis is your penis
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.