I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!