Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
They took my balls.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.