the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.