smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So. Much. Porn.
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