once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!