i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
