erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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