Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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