but the lizard people decide everything anyway
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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