..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
