like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
