when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My feet surprised me
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