a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
