I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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