She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Use "feeling words"
Yay
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
