I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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