you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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