All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize