Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
