Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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