he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
