walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
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Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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