what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize