You're a womanizer and a bitch.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
