There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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