so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?