Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him