I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception