is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
