the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
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Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
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She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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