We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
