I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
