Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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