oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize