Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
