Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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