He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dear god my vagina.
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