I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
