so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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