maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So vagazzling was a success
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
