I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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