i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
