Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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