So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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