Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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