It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
