they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
