1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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