WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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